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Wendy Buckingham / Creator, Life Coaching Professionally
The first thing to understand is that a goal or outcome has three aspects to be considered.
Life Coaching is as much about working with the BE or WHO of a client as it is about supporting and holding them accountable for their actions, the "DO", so they can "HAVE" the outcome they desire.
It's a model that is hugely useful when you are coaching career or business issues, but can be just as relevant in highly emotional personal decision making processes.
It need not be complicated. The BE can include things as basic as finding a way to remember to recharge a mobile phone, or having a time of day to make phone sales calls. It can be about not buying junk food or being firm about the type projects or requests that are acceptable.
The problem is that that most people focus on the HAVE, the outcome instead of the BE which is the main driver for achieving the goal.
So let's look at some examples:
A good example of this is the fitness or weight loss goals so many our clients struggle to achieve.
For someone to increase their chances of succeeding, they first need to BEcome the person who is maybe willing to find better ways of handling stress instead of comfort eating and procrastinating about exercise. Or BE someone who is willing to give up things that might sabotage their weight loss (in my own case chocolate and cheese😀)
In other words to lose weight the client needs to, BE someone who can develop strategies to DO what it takes - maybe saying NO to that second piece of cake - and YES to more exercise! The result is the HAVE of the slim fit body!
A small business client or an employee may have a goal to get 10 more clients or sales.
They may need to practice to BEcome someone who is not afraid to promote their service or product.
This might involve overcoming a reluctance for the DO which such attending networking functions, calling up contacts, or get busy on social media.
A busy mother may to change being overwhelmed by being at the beck and call of her family and friends and start looking after her own needs. This could be about BEcoming somebody who can say not to demands for their time.
A small business owner is in overwhelm. She knows she need to do less but is afraid of letting go of any of her roles. You can coach them to BEcome someone who is willing to learn to delegate or outsource evenif it involves trial and error.
In all these examples, you can see it is the BE or the WHO that can DO what it takes to reach the HAVE (the goal). And the BE often takes practice and encouragement as it may be a huge step out of a long held comfort zone.
So who do you have to BE to DO what you need to do to HAVE a successful coaching practice.
This is one of the important Personal Success Strategies to develop when planning a goal. I write more about it, as a Personal Success Policy, in my book Mastering the Art of Goals Coaching